I can hear the foot steps of the new year nearing my door and its time that it will knock soon. News papers are doing a round up of the events. fb is throwing back the memories gathered on time line. The gratitude posts this month talk about sailing through the thick and thin of the year that is coming to an end. For me its always been another day, rather a new day just like rest of the 364 days of the year. But going through deluge of 'year gone by', round up posts, I thought it to be a good opportunity to look back and see what have I learnt from it?
What did I see?
I saw that I have witnessed evolution, which happened gradually, one day at a time to be precise. I have evolved as a person, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter in law, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a disciple of Almighty and as a blogger. The evolution was happening effortlessly on some fronts and on some I had worked patiently, diligently and at times with lots of hard work. All these developments pointed to same seed of thought, feeling.
The storm of thought tossed one-word way up into my mind and I could read it clearly. “Realisation”, was mainstream of my learning for the year 2017!
It was the realisation that helped me appreciate my mother in law, who passed away fighting bravely with her chronic kidney disease. She was a woman of great confidence. She took life head on after loosing her husband early into marriage. But the flip side of the coin of “confidence” had “stubbornness” written all over it. It was in her death, we realised that no matter how confident one can be and live without anyone’s support, you need at least four people to carry you on their shoulders for your final journey. It was this realisation that affirmed my belief in accepting the people around me as they are and not as I want, to sustain the relationships. I learnt that to sustain relationships, acceptance is the key.
All the while when my better half was handling the front of my ailing mother in law, I was entrusted to look after my brood single handed. This responsibility helped me unearth immense potential I had hidden in me to withstand every situation. Whether it was hospitalisation of my son owing to high fever or taking my daughter to orthopaedic surgeon for fracture, I did it with a brave stance. I realised that I am much more stronger than I feel I am! I learnt to believe in my abilities.
Early into the year, I realised that I was making my children dependent on me, purely out of love and protective instincts of a mother. This realisation led me take steps to push them on their self-sufficiency path. I realised my giant kid was no more kid and he is blooming up to be a fine human being. He took the charge of himself very well when I relinquished the controls. Now I wonder why was I wasting my energies in planning his days and studies all these days? At the same time, I was depriving him of the joys of small victories of managing self, confidently. I learnt that it is 'Better late than never!'
Realisation helped me understand my heart’s calling. Innumerable thoughts were dying to pop out of my head, my heart. I realised that I enjoy penning those thoughts. My MocktailMommies buddies helped me realise that the stage was set to start my own blog and I must listen to my heart. I was very much doubtful of sustaining myself as an independent blogger. But I chose to take a dip. And I did! Years to come will show whether I will succeed or otherwise. Am I bothered about it? Absolutely not! For I have learnt that I write for my pleasure. As long as writing fetches me pleasure, I will not stop for sure.
We, me and my better half, may not have reiterated our love for each other as often as we did in earlier days. The thoughtful actions every now and then on our parts reinforced our age-old bond! We appreciated each other more, for our efforts to make the family a cohesive, complete and happy unit. It was realisation that we complement each other well, helped us fall in love with each other all over again. We make a good team was the best learning out of various realisations of the year!
As I walk through these realisations, I learnt that this knowledge was there, very much existing somewhere deep within; but only covered and layered by the dust of ignorance; thus camouflaged. 365 days of the year helped me, one day at a time, to uncover it!
All this one day at a time…
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All pictures courtesy Pixabay
All pictures courtesy Pixabay
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by
Linking up this post to #YearlyWrapUp with Shailaja